Three Sets of Cookware for Margie

With all due respect, Mush, today was like Chinese New Year's at Macy's Special Four Hour Sale down the street from the deserted Big Box. The entire housewares floor ("The Cellar," which is one floor down from the Five Square Miles of Perfume) was jammed solid with Chinese women, speaking loudly in Chinese, calling each other on cell phones, yelling into them excitedly, grabbing every box they could get their hands on off the shelves, and all in all having the time of their lives.

Is this a racist observation? Would it not be so if Plotnik said "the floor was jammed with many women, speaking loudly in some language or another?"

Plotnik hopes he is simply being descriptive but he might not be. Either way, it was certainly a sight to see, not unlike the old cartoons of women fighting over lingerie at the Lohman's Closeout Counter. Perhaps the huge sale brings everyone out (it did bring Plottie and Ducknik downtown). Let's just say the Chinese-Women-Over-Forty demographic was very well represented.

EMPIRICAL STUDY

The Anthropologist of Modern Consumer Mores observes that the conversation takes place under the canopy, as it were. Rarely are Plotnik's ears higher than anybody's mouth, but this morning he felt like he was a bird in a tree, listening to the unintelligible calls of terrestrial mammals.

No, they weren't unintelligible. It was like this:

"Margie!"

"Yah!"

"Grab a frying pan for Grandma!"

"Yah!"

"Get two! Get three! Get eight!"

"Yah!"

"Who's that guy?"

"Him? Oh, that's the Great Plotnik! Do you read The Great Plotnik?"

"Oh, yah!"

"Me too."

"Is he a racist?"

"Maybe. Go slug the racist dog."

"Give me that frying pan."

"Yah!"