When The Big One Comes, We'll Have Some Great Wine

Yes, the Plotniks are well prepared. Now that they are certified NERT volunteers, they have fixed their Earthquake Kit.

Well, they've started. With the wine.



Because it just so happens that the Plotniks, who before moving to Northern Shmalifornia thought wine came in a keg or a 12-ounce bottle, yesterday received their thrice-annual Wine Club shipment from their favorite winery Il Gioiello in Amador County. The Great Plotnik World Headquarters Wine Cellar happens to share a crawl space with the Great Plotnik World Headquarters Earthquake Kit. Right now, as you can see, the Earthquake survival component is somewhat minimal. However, should the power be out for a few days, everyone hanging out at World Headquarters will have some really fine zinfandels, cabs and viogniers to chew on. There might be a few Oreo cookies in there too, but Plotnik doesn't remember.

If you look carefully at both pictures above you'll see the corkscrew at the margins of the photo. That corkscrew will come in handy if anyone needs to dig out from mud damage or turn off a gas meter or give CPR to a drowning cat. Of course, it can also multi-task for opening one or more of those bottles of wine. You'll also see a few gallons of water, which have only been in there for, oh, five years?



Every time the wine shipment comes, Plotnik plays with it, like a cat with a moth. He stacks it up, lines it up, shuffles it around, speaks to it with an Italian accent. Then he takes its picture. If the Big One came at that moment, all he would have to find would be that corkscrew.