Old Crabby Goober's Secret Shrine Recipe

The Great Plotnik was cruising along all year in comfortable First Place, keeping a low profile, telling everyone this excellent spot could never last but thinking, well, that it just might. Now it's September and the merde is hitting the cassoulet.

The Colorado Jockies, Dance-Nik? COLO FREAKING RADO?

Nah, he said, the Jockies can't pitch. No worries. The Braindead Caribbeans? Nah, he said. The Braindead Caribbeans can't hit. No worries.

But no. Now, it's the once-mighty Plotzers who can't hit and can't pitch. And the Jockies and Lards and Phoolies are doing both. It looks like it just might be getting on Shrine Time.

Plotnik thinks he needs to start a shrine website, with recipes gathered from insane sports fans world wide. It would be a little like a cooking site -- just punch in "Colorado Must Lose Shrine Recipe Needed West Coast Ingredients Preferable" and a little box would pop up:

OLD CRABBY GOOBER'S ANTI-ROCKIES SHRINE MIX
(Success rate: 67% on moonlit nights)

One gallon Coors Lite.
One Clint Hurdle Bobblehead Doll
One toenail from Denver massage therapist
One expired food voucher from Frontier Airlines
One half-gallon shitty wine in plastic box
One piece cracked concrete from bankrupt Steamboat Springs condo complex
One broken guitar string EACH from 12 illegal alien Jockies pitchers
One more gallon Coors Lite.

Consume artfully.