Sarunas and Kim Chee's

Plotnik's family always accuses him of liking small, offbeat things, instead of blockbusters. They've got a point. "Did you take Mom out to dinner? Did you take her to that Lithuanian-Korean place with the slimy shit on the plate?" they ask.

Why no, the last ten times we went out to eat we went to Cafe Cordiale, Cafe Cordiale, Cafe Cordiale, Cafe Cordiale, Stanley's, Stanley's, Stanley's, Stanley's, Stanley's and, well, Sarunas and Kim Chee's One Stop Slimy Shitty Food Shop, but only that once.

They're right. Plotnik hates almost everything trendy. Vertical food with mustaches on top. Organic free range baby strollers. Movies about nothing like "Inception."

And plays with twenty producers, including Amar'e Stoudamire and a lot of people named Habib, that are nothing but bald-faced attempts to grab your money from your pocket and make you need that $40 t-shirt made for two rupees with the workers chained to a fence post in Bangladesh because you also bought the execrably bad CD with all the songs from the show featuring singers who finished 12th on American Idol so now you need that t-shirt to cover your face while you barf up your pre-curtain faux crab appetizer.

You know, THAT kind of show.