Majestic Redwoods and a Quiet House

The house is quiet. Ducknik has left for jury duty for the third week in a row, though her case is scheduled to go to deliberation this week. Schmekl and Little Bear just drove away from the curb, on their way back down to Orange County, 7 1/2 hours from here. The dishwasher and washing machine are churning away as Plotnik sits with his feet on his counter top, coffee cup in hand, looking over his lengthy to-do list, but in no particular hurry to get started on anything.

This morning he is feeling thankful to have a family, small and cantankerous as it is. Schmekl B. Plotnik may drive Plottie crazy at times, but the two brothers will always have each others' backs. You don't get to choose your brother or sister, but you do know, better than anyone else in the world, how to make them feel content, or, if you want to, how to get right under their skin.

In the end, Plot and Schmek are not all that different. OK, they look different and OK, they look out at the world differently, and, OK, they like doing different things and eating different food. OK, one of then actually likes food.

But S.B. Plotnik only says he's a Republican. He's not really. And Plotnik only says he's a Democrat. He's really a Whig. In fact, both brothers are fed up with what they see, so they tend to default back to their long-held positions. If Schmek would listen to less talk radio he'd make more sense and if Plottie didn't scream at the TV and turn it off whenever Rick Santorrible came on, he might learn something.

Only Mummy P. has known Plottie longer than his brother. It was great fun to have Shmeck and Elbie here. Nothing but fun and food. Well done food.

Speaking of food, Plotnik is going to suggest to the greater family that we do an Uncle Schmekl Cookbook, featuring the food he loves best. Perhaps we can call it "Nuke It."

In the "Breakfast While Standing Up" section will be a cheddar cheese bagel, toasted until it's done and then toasted again until it's burnt to cinders, on top of which you add cream cheese, peanut butter and boysenberry jam and then more cream cheese on the very top. You are required to get peanut butter in the cream cheese container and cream cheese in the jam jar and jam on the counter.

If a banana slug walked across the bagel it would get stuck in the peanut butter and Shmeck would think it's mustard and that would sound pretty good too.

As you can see, yesterday the Plots all drove down to Memorial Park and walked in and around the beautiful redwoods. It doesn't matter how many times you stand next to those trees, you end up feeling good about the future of the earth. The banana slugs are actually kind of beautiful.

And now we know the secret of how redwood trees procreate.

Northern Shmalifornia -- how can you beat it? A short drive and you're into the middle of a primordial forest. In Southern Shmal a short drive and you're at the dry cleaner.

Might as well get back to work. Everyone else is. Even the redwoods.