The Great Plotnik

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Saturday night, Plot and Duck saw "Firewall" or "FreeFall" or whatever the new James Bond movie is called. It was entertaining and stupid, the two characteristics most necessary for contemporary films. Non-stop car chases, automatic weapons fired without cessation but no one injured, a fifteen minute opening sequence with SUVs chasing each other through the crowded Istanbul spice market, har har har oh right, one driven by the baddie, the other by the beautiful black-ish wisecracking starlet, who, at the end of the chase, picks up her high powered rifle and, well, it's hard to believe.

But we can't deny that it was fun. It's nice to actually go TO a theater once in a while instead of bringing the theater into your house all the time. Netflix is fun, as is HBO, but you don't get to see previews at high volume. We probably WILL go see The Hobbit, WILL NOT go see the two with the guns and the kids and the computer graphics, and ALREADY FORGOT the other one.

The Bond music ((Thomas Newman) is really good, but the lead song, sung by Adele Kozlowsky (the 'Kozlowsky' is silent), is mediocre, as always. She makes you remember how good Shirley Bassey was.

Can't remember a note of the song. It's bound to win an Academy Award.

Judy Dench: meh. Same role every time.

Peter O'Toole: didn't even realize it was him until somebody mentioned it afterwards.

Daniel Craig, who plays Bond: very good, but -- hey -- no one is Shawn Connery.

His childhood home: Oh, come on. It was like an out-take from "Broody Moor, the Musical."

The other love interest -- what WAS she, anyway? It's like they rub all national and ethnic characteristics off someone's face, blend the color until she's kind-of brown-ish, and give her an accent designed by a Republican focus group. It took place in Macau so she was probably sort of Asian, kind-of, mixed-race-ish, a little, sort of.

All young men in movies or TV have three day beards, if they're handsome, or else they are fat and bald and short and wear baggy shorts and are clean shaven.

Dinner was fantastic. ISA, on Steiner, serves what they call "Tapas Style" sea food. It has nothing to do with tapas, the word only means they give you small portions and don't serve them all at the same time. But the food really is delicious. The sea bass wrapped in a potato jacket was superb.

The Great Ducknik has always loved James Bond. There is some kind of erotic escapism there and a lot of people have it. Aloof. Distant. Three Day Beard.


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