Why Plotnik is Updating Less

Yes, that's a bear skin.

Plot was asked yesterday if he's bored with blogging, because he doesn't seem to update as much as he used to?

Well, here's how it goes.

* It used to be about food. But after awhile all food pictures look the same.

* Or baseball. But think about it: you juice up, your team wins a few hundred games with you on the sauce, and probably no one gets caught. You win a lucrative new contract. And if you do get busted: whoa, too bad. You get penalized fifty games but you keep your contract and your team keeps all the wins.

Baseball hgas gotten to be like cycling now. Even Lance Armstrong, the first, last and best liar, even better than Barry Bonds, has finally stopped pretending he was clean.

(Not Barry, of course. It was flax oil that gave him cojones the size of beach balls.)

* Plot writes a lot of music. But he has never figured out how to put music on his site -- only video.

* Isabella is growing up. We don't get much to report on these days. And, anyway, your children or grandchildren are way more interesting to you than to anyone else.

* Or curmudgeonly musings about life. Even he is bored with that.

So what's left?

* Politics? Plot and Duck are planning to be out of the country during the last weeks of the election. The thought of listening to any more fat-assed corporate lies from Mitt Romney or whining The World is Ending Right NOW begs for money from Move-On.Com, or endless robocalls at all hours of the day and night from both sides, makes the thought of staying home while my country farts out its next president absolutely intolerable.

I mean, come on. It's all coming down to the N----- in the white house, like we'd all hoped wouldn't happen. People get stupider every year. All the fancy pretend outrages cannot hide the fact that Obama has done a great job saving this country from the hole the Republicans threw us in. So if you vote against him there cannot possibly be any reason except the obvious one. This makes Plotnik very sad.

It also makes him sad to think that if Romney gets in we will almost certainly go to war with Iran, to thank Florida for putting him over.

Plotnik thinks nobody needs to hear any more paranoid musings like these, but seeing as there seems to be no current movement to give Florida back to the Spanish and Texas back to the Mexicans, it's probably better that Plottie not update as much as he used to.

Yes, those are moose antlers.

They Don't Deserve the Holy Land

After listening to Arabs and Israelis slinging lying, self-serving hatred at each other over the last few weeks, to say nothing of the last hundred years, there is only one conclusion that can be made by rational people. The people who live in the Holy Land don't deserve the Holy Land.

The Israelis don't deserve it. The Palestinians don't deserve it. The other Arabs don't deserve it. The Christians had it for a long time and they f___ed it up too, so they don't deserve to get it back.

The Great Plotnik would never advocate giving everyone who lives in Israel, Palestine and Syria a year's warning so they could move somewhere else, then taking in a thousand cubits worth of bulldozers, knocking down all the mosques and synagogues and churches, rounding up every political and religious leader who was left and tossing them all into the Mediterranean, and then repopulating the place with Buddhists. Of course he wouldn't.

That would not be a nice thing to say.
Lebanon has great beaches, they could stay.