The World's Most Annoying Band

Would it surprise you to know that The Great Plotnik plays the ukelele?

Recently, on an airplane bound for Florida, The Great Plotnik met a man with an enormous red beard and five earrings. Three of them were in his ears. Having eaten up all the peanuts and pretzels, the two had nothing else to do, so they fell into a conversation. The man with the great red beard said he played the accordion. The Great Plotnik told him he played the ukelele, and therefore the two of them played two of the most annoying instruments known to man.

"That's nothing," the man with the great red beard said. "My father plays the bagpipes."

"We need to form a band," the Great Plotnik said.

"But I don't play very well," said the man with the great red beard.

"I don't either," said The Great Plotnik. "What about your father?"

"He's terrible," the man said. "We could have a really annoying band. But we'll need a singer."

"I have someone," said The Great Plotnik. "Her name is The Great Ducknik. She sings perfectly in tune until she takes a breath, and then she comes back in another key. It can be any key at all. If she breathes twice she ends up in three keys."

"We'll need short songs," said the man with the great red beard.