The Great Plotnik

Friday, September 16, 2005

Fat But No Fatter

It being History Friday, it is good to observe that nature has natural limits. The great Norman and Tudor Kings of England could eat as much and as often as they liked, but they couldn't get any wider than these stone walls in the Tower of London. We cannot know exactly how much Henry VIII weighed, but we can be sure he was was able to center himself on this bench when he strolled in for a pleasant morning's deliberations.

The wooden planks have been worn smooth. The hole is nicely beveled. The graffiti that various Kings must surely have scrawled upon the stone walls --"For A Good Time Call Guinevere" -- has disappeared.

It is said that the task of gathering the Royal Poop fell not to a servant, but to a Duke who had fallen out of favor. The Great Plotnik asks you to think about that when filling out your next job resume.


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