Cracking the Code

Three Plotnikkies
Originally uploaded by thegreatplotnik.

It has been suggested by more than one Newbie that The Great Plotnik's code is difficult to crack. Here are a few simple facts:

Saint Plotniko is the city in which The Great Plotnik and the Great Ducknik reside, where he rides his Plotkicycle, and roots against the home baseball team The Saint Plotniko Braindead Caribbeans. Saint Plotniko is the home and headquarters of the Plotnikkie Religion. Plotnikkies believe in OOPH: Our Own Personal Hell. Everyone has his own personal OOPH, and there's no getting away from it. Plotnik's OOPH currently includes Celine Dion, sweet and sour liver, Barney in Hi-Def and Dell Tech Support in Bangalore, but it changes all the time.

Some 5 hours South of Saint Plotniko is Stiletto City, the metropolis where The Great Plotnik grew up, along with Mummy Plotnik, Shmeckl Plotnik, Granny Plotnik and Grampie Plotnik. Stiletto City is famous for citizens who think glamour begins with them, to which end they employ height enhancers, width diminishers and hair enlargers. They spend their entire lives in their cars, talking on the phone while stalled in traffic, and screaming obscenities at anyone whose car is smaller than theirs. Stiletto City is the home of The Great Plotnik's favorite baseball team The Stiletto City Plotzers. It is also the home of The Great PunkyDunky and The Great FiveHead.

Further South is the most boring city in America, Saint Patooty, that everyone loves to visit, with the great weather blah blah blah. Plotnik despises the place, and its baseball team the Saint Patooty Piffles.

The Great BeeziWeezi lives in The Big Shmapple. She has moved into a sumptuous villa in the tony and exclusive neighborhood of West Shmarlem. The Great BeeziWeezi has two jobs and can now afford to buy food.

The Great Plotnik is hungry. He is always hungry.

The three Plotnikkies in the above photograph are among the following: Jennifer Lopnik, The Great Mushnik, Cait Blanchnik, The Great Ducknik, Clairnik Danes, Looziana Val.