Jasper Before

The Great Plotnik is not sleeping tonight
He is searching
for the long view
the time frame of stars
billions of years, light traveling endlessly
Look at it that way
at where we were
and where we'll be
as we inch our way
along the tightrope
surrounded by other tightropes
each heads off in a new direction
that you can't see from here
And our way is only one way
And there are so many other ways
And so many other worlds
And so many other lives
that one life
can't really
amount to all that much.

This long view
is the one The Great Plotnik seeks
tonight
As he tries to make sense
of a strong young man
Jasper
barely more than a boy
with a little
bump
on his
back
that no one pays any mind to
until one day that little
bump
on his
back
has spread to his
lungs
and his parents fly into action
try everything
talk to everyone
consult with the best
the medical men
the shamans
the Eastern
the Western
the greatest minds
in the profession
and then they hurl lightning bolts
thunderclasps
they bring low the mountains
upon that little
bump
on Jasper's
back
and in his
lungs
and then they wait
wait
what is one more day
in the unfathomable, unknowable, uncountable?
and yet
in that tiny
immeasurable
smidge of time
that little
bump
on Jasper's
back
and in his
lungs
has now jumped
into his
brain.

And his parents have already tried everything.

So they do it all again
everything they know
and the L.A. doctors know
And the Denver doctors know
they raise the oceans
verily, the sands under the oceans
and all the powders from the holy rocks
and all the medicinal demons
in anyone's knowledge base
they hurl all these weapons
at the
bump
on Jasper's
back
and in his
lungs
and in his
brain
and then
they
wait

wait

Time is relative
astrophysical time
star time
planetary time
billions of years
enough time
for an amoeba to become a physicist
a pterodactyl a 747
They wait

But in much less time
than all that
today
in Aspen, Colorado
today
his parents hear
all their medicines
and all their machines
and all their lighting bolts
and all their thunderclasps
and all their chemicals
and all their poisons
have only made the
bump
on Jasper's
back
and in Jasper's
lungs
and in Jasper's
brain
bigger
and stronger
and there are more bumps now
more
and now
now
now they truly are out of medicines
they are out of lightning bolts
they are out of chemicals
but they are not out of ideas
for they still have hope

And so when The Great Plotnik gets an email
and he sees attached a photo of
Jasper
Before
the beautiful boy
Jasper
Before
he says to himself
what shall I do
with this photo
of this beautiful boy
who is fighting so hard?

So he looks at the photo
again
and again
and again
and he remembers
that Jas was supposed to be better
already
that's what everyone told each other
last week in L.A.
eating pizza at Casa Bianca
laughing
making jokes
even making plans
when Jas is better
we'll travel
we'll enjoy time
and ourselves
and each other
but
that was then
and this is now
and this isn't good news
and there is never enough time

This is why
The Great Plotnik is not sleeping tonight
he is staring at that picture
and searching
for the long view
the time frame of stars
anything
to make his friends feel better
that will ease their broken hearts
as they see their boy
slipping away
and all it was
was
a bump
on Jasper's
back