Peet's Stiletto City

The Great Plotnik is in a Peet's Coffee House on Shmentura Boulevard in Stiletto City. He has finally found a wireless connection. Now he's got three hours of work to get done before he can go back to Mummy Plotnik's. She hasn't been well but is getting better. All the tests were negative. She appears to be suffering from a case of 91 1/2 years old.

We spend a lot of time worrying about pollution and industrial chemicals. Mummy Plotnik spent her childhood living in an unventilated apartment above Grampy Plotnik's dry cleaning shop. They used heavy-duty benzine in those days to dry clean clothing. The whole family breathed that stuff in for their formative years.

Uncle Natenik is 90. Mummy Plotnik is 91 1/2. Grampy lived to 89.

Without that benzine they might have lasted longer. Or not as long. It all comes down to heredity and good luck, doesn't it?

The news is not good for Nephew Nefnik, his girl friend Fefnik and her son Vashnik. Neil Sedaka was right. Breaking up is hard to do.