Plotnik needs to learn how to fish.

OK, you're not supposed to eat Sea Bass because it's non-sustainable. Man, it's good, though, especially when you coat it in a peppery masala and serve it with



Carrots in cumin and cilantro, and accompany that with

The usual cast of Monday Night Summertime salads.

But the sea bass is non-sustainable; tuna, mahi-mahi and swordfish are full of mercury and should not be eaten unless you are a thermometer; farmed salmon is toxic and wild salmon is illegal, unless it comes in frozen from Alaska and tastes like Kleenex; shellfish in this part of the world are watery and bland while managing, at the same time, to be thought of as delicacies...most other locally obtained fish are too small to yield nice, barbecueable chunks.

The Great Plotnik grew up in a time when fresh fish were unheard of. For decades, he despised the taste, smell and even the thought of eating fish. Now that he has changed his tune, he feels very uncomfortable shelling out $17 a pound for sea bass. It's like eating passenger pigeon cassoulet with a side of spotted owl.

So Plot needs to learn how to fish. He has to catch his own. A religious leader should be able to provide for his flock. They won't keep eating granola forever.