Rainbow Grocery

Yesterday, Plotnik decided to take his Plotkicycle down to Rainbow Grocery. Have you wondered where all the grocery workers hang out who are also bull-dykes with shaved heads, tattooed shoulders, and enough tongue studs to be melted down into coinage? Now, you know.

Rainbow is the coolest market in town, because you can find absolutely anything you've ever heard of, except meat. Wasabi Powder? Bin 2475. Shmatawort Tea? Bin 3840. Hamburger? We scoff.

At the far end of the store you can sample the teensiest, weensiest squares of cheese, which you can barely stab with the proffered toothpick, but the cheesemongers will stare you down if you go back for seconds. How they cut those miniscule cheese pieces is a mystery, unless they employ mice with shaved-heads, tattoos, tongue-studs, slide rules and T-squares.

At Safeway, Plotnik is always the only person in the store without a gut hanging to his knees. At Rainbow he is simply one of many gray-haired gentlemen carrying bicycle helmets to the Glucosamine Aisle.

The Great Plotnik buys his grains, his groats, his dried herbs, his spices, his olives, his trofie (yum-mo) and his dried fruit at Rainbow Grocery. If BZWZ is home he buys her her favorite Vegan Pastry. He also purchases his Alpha Lipoic Acid and his Omega-3 Fatty Acid capsules, for which he is entitled to claim his 10% Senior Discount, and they never check.

The house music system usually plays reggae but sometimes you get Janis Ian.

Customer Service at Rainbow? Haa haa, ooh, that's, haaaar haaaar, really funny.

The plotkicycle trip to Rainbow is slightly downhill, but the trip back home is considerably uphill, especially with saddle bags filled with grains and groats. On the way back, Plottie spied these four row houses on Capp St. in the Mission, painted pink. What's that sound? Kneecaps groaning.