Xmas Presents that Nobody Will Take

People seem to love the presents The Great Plotnik and The Great Ducknik bring home to them from their travels in foreign lands, but that's only because they don't see the other ones -- the gifts that do not seem to have the same magic in the light of the living room that they did under the dusky skies of Wherever The Hell.

Like the ratty purses above that were purchased in a tiny shop in Ephesus, Turkey. NOW, Duck tells Plot that she wishes he hadn't misunderstood her signals, that he thought meant BARGAIN and she insists meant FLEE! The little purses were badly sewn and sold by an old man in a stubbly beard who kept his hands in his pants.



These two are the worst. The humble paintings of the poor little snot-faced boy and the poor little snot-faced girl that Duck was convinced were the painter's own poor little snot-faced children, but in fact, later, Plot and Duck found in every gift shop in Peru. Please, somebody, take them?



Can anyone use a nice leather key-chain from Florence? It's good, solid leather and in excellent condition. What? Nobody uses fifty keys anymore?



Well, then, how about this fine PeruRail baseball cap?



The little town of Sirince, Turkey, was fabulous, with its homespun mosques and old churches. Why that led to buying these, uh, tablecloths, is a mystery. And Plotnik already threw away the authentic 'oregano' which turned out to be some kind of lemon tree twigs.



Look, everyone needs wall hangings from Cuzco.



And all the jewelry! These are necklaces from Mikune village in Zambia, but there are also plenty from South Africa and Peru.



I mean, what can you do? Take the Mikune village. Plot and Duck, PD, FiveHead and two friends walked into a huge dirt-floor marketplace and found themselves the only shoppers there, surrounded by a hundred or so sellers. EVERYONE had something that the six tourists HAD to have. And they all had stories. Kids to feed. Many people depended on them. They had prosthetic legs. Why not buy this fine carved elephant? Well, Plot did. And the crocodile salad servers. And the giraffe candy bowl. And the baskets, don't forget the baskets.

But that's the good stuff. Maybe it's not all good stuff. Back into the attic until next Christmas, I guess.