Tree Talk: Yiz Needs Patience

Once upon a time, when The Great Plotnik, The Great Ducknik and Baby PD lived on the farm in Pennsylvania, Plotnik learned the art of pruning fruit trees. He and Duck had planted an orchard, and within a very short time most of the baby trees were dead. The peaches: kaput. The pears: adios. But many apple trees survived, and those that were left had to be pruned.

So, Plottie enlisted the aid of a neighbor whose name was Bud. Bud taught Plotnik that the three basic rules are: "First, yiz lops off the previous season's dead wood. Then, yiz opens up the middle of the tree so more light can get in. Then, yiz prunes to the outer fruit buds." It made a lot of sense then, and still does now, if yiz has fruit trees, which the Plotniks do, sort of.



When the Plotniks got to Saint Plotniko and established World Headquarters, they found one very dry and suffering six-foot-tall apple tree in the backyard. Plotnik knew he had a job to do.

Water and fertilizer and the tree started to grow. Now, fourteen years, yes, fourteen years later, Plotnik still climbs up on the tree every Spring and prunes off the dead wood, reduces the height of the tree by half and opens up the center, leaveing selected outer fruit buds. His goal has been to force the one large lateral limb to grow towards the upper deck, so he can sit on a deck chair with a drink in one hand and pick an apple with the other.



The next goal will be to make the apples taste better. Right now, they make wonderful apple sauce and the squirrels adore them. Yiz just has to be patient.



Also, yesterday Plotnik and Ducknik dug up the nectarine tree that he bought on the internet a few years ago. It had started out its life in a wine barrel but its roots had grown through the bottom of the tub down into the earth and it wasn't getting enough sun. So, with a lot of huffing and puffing Plottie transplanted it into the garden in back of the day lilies. It will probably die, but with a great deal of luck and a massive heat wave we'll be talking nectarine cobbler, small nectarine cobbler, but nectarine cobbler, in four-five years.

Now that the nectarine tree have been moved and the tub broken up into kindling, Ducknik's espaliered Meyer lemon tree has even more sun. It's spectacularly successful, so far. Many lemons. Little space. A Bearss Mexican lime has been planted next to it and Duck will espalier that one too. Bud would be proud.