King Paris and Zelda the Bald

Certain theater productions drag on too long; some are too short -- you're waiting for the good part and it never arrives. Last night, The Great Plotnik and his trophy wife, Helen of Duck, went to see "The Trojan Women" in Berkeley and the show was just long enough. Any longer and the entire audience might have committed mass suicide, not because of the show but because of all the wailing. At just one hour, though, with no intermission, it's a good show and worth seeing. You can read the SF Theater Blog review here, but you may want to bring your Xanex and a nice cookie.



But it makes Plotnik think: Could Helen have really been SO beautiful that King Paris would risk his entire world to kidnap her and bring her back to Troy, knowing that her husband, King Menelaus, and the entire Greek army would be on his heels?

I mean -- Paris was King too! He probably had plenty of chances to get girls.

Admittedly, after seeing "Romancing the Caveman" the night before, the story makes some sense. King want woman. King kidnap woman, take woman home to cave. King turn on TV, no care what happen next. King happy.

But Helen's beauty probably didn't have all that much to do with it, although it is reported that every Greek king and prince wanted to marry her. We are betting she knew some neat tricks.

It probably came down to Paris wanting what King Menelaus had. If Menelaus had been married to Zelda the Bald, Paris would have stolen her. The Great Plotnik will give Hillary fans one thing: it would really be nice to get the men out of office for awhile.