The Continuing Dialogue

Sister Great Dance-Nik is not the first woman friend to voice the opinion that men feel threatened by strong women. Plotnik doesn't agree and he doesn't think that he is in some kind of enlightened minority just because he doesn't get it.

Yes, he will admit that the soft side of a woman is almost always appealing to a man. Yes, he will admit that the classical 'female' traits of understanding, listening and supporting can be seductive to a man -- these are the characteristics in our mates we are brought up to seek out and savor.

We are trained to be the exact opposite -- stern, stalwart, a rock. Criminy, you have to be like that if you're going to get sent to war. We also know from experience that women love these traits in us, whether or not they like to admit it. Sensitive men are popular in books but in real life women often view a man's sensitivity as weak and undesirable. The jerkoff without the helmet on the motorcycle always has a woman on the back of the bike with her arms around his waist.

But that doesn't mean we don't recognize that humans are more complex than stereotypes, nor that in our weak moments we haven't felt shackled by ambition and drive in a woman.

It is true: some men want weak women. They go out and find them. Then, they spend their lives bitching about the little woman who can't balance her checkbook. And they probably grow up using in their daily conversation the very phrases that have driven women to distraction during the Democratic nomination campaign.

Want to know the constant every-minute-of-the-TV-day stereotype that drives Plotnik crazy? The stupid husband. He's too stupid to get a good buy on tires because he's too busy watching football on TV. He'll incinerate his family by putting too much bbq lighter on the fire. If it weren't for his wife, he'd have three trucks filled with beer. He is Fred Flintstone. He is Homer Simpson. So if you want to whine about stereotypes, Plotnik will whine right along with you.

In Plotnik's opinion, it is far too easy for women to say men are threatened by strong women. Plotnik doesn't know any of these men. They must be there, but he doesn't know any. We revere women with voices, with careers, with stories to tell and the courage to tell them. We also cherish their capacities as mothers, as nourishers, as companions and as buddies.

This is a healthy dialogue. Please keep commenting.