Where America Shops

The Great Plotnik and The Great Ducknik went shopping for a new microwave oven. Every piece of cheap plastic on the old microwave oven had by now fallen off. You couldn't heat up or defrost anything, and even if you could, the door wouldn't open. It was time.

They drove to the store that advertises itself as "Where America Shops." The parking lot was empty. The store was filled with cheap and shoddy merchandise, favoring clothing in bright colors never before seen by man. Every song that came on the Muzac was by Lionel Richie.

"I don't like it in here, Plotnik," said The Great Ducknik.

"No," said The Great Plotnik. "I want to shop where America doesn't shop."