Kobe Beefnik Starts Strong

Last night was Opening Night of the NBA season. In some ways, it's the best night of the year. By the end of the long, grueling season, the winners are usually not the best athletes but the most hardy, the survivors and best physical specimens, the last guys still standing in the ring, the ones who didn't suffer season ending injuries in any number of places along the line. By next June, the NBA Champs will have played 82 regular season games and as many as 28 playoff games. Just one game would kill most people, but 110? At the level they play? At that point it's all heart, because the joints, the sinews, the tendons and the nerves are basically shot.

But that's then. Now, in November, all these athletes can still jump through the roof. They look like the 19 or 22 or 28 year-olds they are, not the grizzled 45 year olds they'll resemble at the end of the season. They've got their legs. They've had all summer to rest and charge their batteries. In November each team is unbeaten, and each fan gets to dream.

Last night, The Great Plotnik's favorite team, the Stiletto City UseTaBes won its game at the end of overtime when superstar Kobe Beefnik hit a last second jump shot. The local team, the Saint Plotniko KindaSortas, who Plotnik also likes quite a bit, won its game too. This morning's sports section was fun to read, and guess what: The UseTaBes and the KindaSortas are both livin' large, at the top of the standings, tied for first. The sun is shining. Who needs baseball anyway?