Happy Birthday to Meee-e-e-e
It's another day that's worth another year. Birthdays don't really amount to much except when they end in 0 or 5, so Plot is spared getting all philosophical about it for several more years.
So what shall he do on his birthday? For a start, he gets to ride downtown to do battle once again with the Betentacled Misbegottens at AT&T, formerly Cingular, on behalf of the Great BeezieWeezie's cell phone. The other day, when Plot first began this seemingly simple quest to make the company do what it promised to do a year ago when Plotnik, Plotnik and Plotnik signed up for the Family Plan (photo on the brochure of smiling family members speaking of simple things to one another using their new cell phones), the BMs balked. They needed to talk to their manager, who wasn't there right now, or their assistant manager, who had been there, they're sure he had been there, but by gawrsh he didn't seem to be there right now either. Plottie couldn't make 'em budge. You could not push the BMs through the colon of bureaucratic insolence.
At one point, Plot said to the well-dressed, nicely suited BM that was serving him: "Don't you find it hard to say things like you just said to me and keep a straight face?" The guy said "Yeah, I do," but that's all he said.
BZ's cell phone is a piece-o-junk. She has had to sit on her stoop outside to make any calls at all. Talking to her is like a bad commercial. Yesterday Duck called her to tell her Auntie M had died. Plot heard Duck say: "Honey, I've got bad news. Auntie Melba died. Hello? Hello? BZ are you there?"
Then BZ called back. The conversation went: "Hi, Honey. Yes, I'm fine. What happened is...hello? Hello? BZ? Hello?"
So back Plottie rides to attempt to be a prune. Plot will push a little harder. What happens will be anyone's guess, and Happy Birthday to you.
Later, he will wax eloquent to y'all about his new BBQ, and he will cook for everyone once he and Duck figure out where to buy a propane tank with a gauge, how you fill it with propane and which gizmo you touch to fire 'er up.
posted by DAK @ 8:47 AM
7 Comments:
Happy Birthday DD! I was going to write something about "No '0's' no '5's" because I remember that heading from last year, but you beat me to in in the first graph. (Mush taught me to write about "graphs.") We had similar cell phone issues with Cingular. You can order a newer, better phone on eBay and take out the little chip in the back of the bad phone and put it in the good one. (The BMs don't tell you that.) Or you could get her an iPhone. I'm off to a Halloween party with 20 kids under 5. Let me know if you want the address.
PS I just realized I don't actually know what a BM is and yet I used it like I did. This blog is dangerous!
There used to be a big equipment rental/sales place on Shotwell and 18th or so that would fill your propane tank. Big ritual to wheel my tank over there without a car. Seems like another life.
Your BBQ is gorgeous ~ a very happy b.day to you, dear Plotnik, DD, etc.
Happy birthday! Dad's great with the propane tank stuff. It seems pretty easy (coming from the gal who's never gotten one filled). My favorite grill trick: one onion, with one pad of butter stuck inside of it, wrapped in tin foil, sitting on the back of the grill while the rest of your wonderful dinner cooks. It's a no-fuss, delicious side! :)
Just promise me you won't fire that grill up that close to Plotnik Headquarters.....and Happy Birthday. Oh, and Cuz Seattle is right about the onions especially if they are Vidalias.
No, it was on South Van Ness. But I'm sure you've filled your tank by now.
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