Selling the Saab

The Great PunkyDunky and family drove their 1995 Saab to Saint Plotniko, filled with stuff to store at World Headquarters until...well, probably until after Plot and Duck's funeral when the attic's feng shui is being inspected for the new Chinese owner.

PD wanted to sell the Saab while here and use the money to defray expenses in Brooklyn. But the car didn't sell quickly, so Plot agreed to sell it for him after they'd gone.

The battery was having a little trouble turning over but Plot figured it would last at least a few days. Which it did.

And he almost sold it too. A guy took a taxi down from Marin County to buy the car, but before he drove it he walked to the front and said to Plotnik: "Why didn't you tell me about this?" When Plot went to see what the man was talking about, he saw the whole right front headlight assembly had been smashed and the hood dented. Glass and plastic lay all over the street. It was probably one of the many construction trucks on the block who did it, and the perp had driven away quickly without saying a word.

See that big white smile on the car in the picture above? It's now more like missing teeth and a cracked jaw. Obviously, the car didn't sell. Then Plot and Duck went to Stiletto City. When they got home they remembered the Saab.

This morning Plot went to take the car to get a damage estimate. You knew this was coming: the battery wouldn't start.

So he popped the clutch, drove down to Don's Auto where the cheapest battery that a Saab can handle ended up costing $139 installed. Everything on a Saab costs double what it should.

Duck followed Plot down to Tony's European Auto on 11th Street, and the estimate is $1,466. PD's deductible is $500. So is it worth fixing, or should they just take the $1,466 cash, minus the $500 deductible, and sell the car as damaged?

No no no no. They're fixing the car, or else Plot will have to sell a damaged vehicle. Selling damaged autos on Craig's List puts you in contact with a whole new category of scumsucking human-like rodents and nobody needs that.

The sad part is that it's a great car. It's a whole lot more fun to drive than a VW Golf. Somebody's gonna get a bargain. And it's got a new battery.