Plotnik NEVER Wins

One rule that has been in effect at The Great Plotnik World Headquarters since the alarm clock went off at the dawn of time is "You Cut, I Pick." The rule originated in the J. M. Ducknik family of Plandome, Long Island and is one of those perfect Kid Rules, the ones that are guaranteed to stop an argument before it gets going.



It's simple. Whoever cuts the cookie, the other person chooses which half he wants. This forces the person cutting to use precision, or else watch his brother/sister/husband/wife/father/mother receive a BIGGER piece, which, of course, is INTOLERABLE.



Plotnik came late to this rule. In his family the rule was: Big Brother Takes Bigger Piece. It was also a very simple axiom, but one Plotnik never appreciated a whole hell of a lot.



But no matter with how much care Plotnik attempts to cut a perfectly even half of a cookie, Ducknik ALWAYS yells Ha HA! MINE'S BIGGER! And she's always right too. She's so GOOD at this!