Addictions

This morning's Bird Wrap reports that in Saint Plotniko, among those who sought treatment for drug dependencies in 2008-09, 31% were for heroin, 21% for alcohol, 20% for cocaine, 11% for meth and 9% for pot.

Then there were 1% for hallucinogens, which probably means another 6-7% got lost and couldn't find the clinic.

But think about it! Heroin and booze are basically downers, while coke and meth are basically uppers. So of the top four, 52% of the people wanted to chill out and 31% wanted to speed up. This is no joke -- it's real.

Of course, we're only talking about people who came into a clinic feeling they needed help, which is probably...what? 10% of the total? 20%? Less? More?

So many questions come up, such as what does addiction mean? One person's addiction is another person's nip before breakfast. It doesn't seem to be about the drug of choice, but about a particular individual's ability to function the way he or she wants to, about gaining or regaining control over their lives that they feel they have lost.

The Great Fate-Nik says that the one thing that leads to happiness is feeling you have control over your life. He is talking about control of your finances but also of your perceptions about what makes you happy or unhappy. If you feel out of control you are more likely to be miserable, and equally likely to make bad choices which will only accelerate your slide.

So back to all the people seeking help for substance abuse -- half wanted to slow down and a third wanted to speed up, but all of them were uncomfortable with that middle ground.

Is this what control really means? Seeking the middle? Or does it mean putting your feet more firmly into the ground so you can hold on easier when things go one way or the other?

Plot remembers a room mate he had one year in college. If John woke up and it was cloudy, he'd say "Cloudy day! Great day to drop some acid!" If John woke up and it was sunny he'd say "Sunny day! Great day to drop some acid!"

In Plot's crazier days he knew lots of crazy people. Some were just plain addictive personalities, like his friend Herbert who had been a junkie, then got help at a methadone clinic, but became so dependent on methadone that he and his friends would get drunk and then break into the clinic to steal more methadone, except that methadone and booze cancel each other out. So, with the methadone now doing no good Herbert would be back to heroin withdrawal and show up at Plot and Duck's apartment door raving like a lunatic. The first time this happened Plot was working and Duck had to face and try to care for this crazy, sweating and thrashing man by herself for much of the night.

When Herb got a little cleaner he got addicted to horse racing and lost all his money. Plottie doesn't know what happened after that.

Maybe for some people being out of control IS the point. The middle is just too tame, too uninteresting. The only thing Plotnik knows for sure is that if you haven't been there, you can't know what it's like. And that's OK with him.