The Explanation

"Well, hi everybody. This is Brother Virgil, announcer of the Perfect Pitch.

Now, I need you to pay attention.

There is an Umpire in charge of the Earth. He welcomes babies. That's just the way it is. The Earth has an Umpire and he welcomes babies.

When the babies get welcomed, they sing. That singing turns into beautiful music.

Earth is just one planet in a motley collection of planets, rocks, asteroids and twinkling stars that make up the Collective Cosmos. Every chunk of finite real estate in the entire galaxy has a different sports official in charge. Most of them are soccer referees but Earth loves baseball so we've got an Umpire.

Everybody works for the Commissioner. The Commisioner’s name is Bud. Bud lives on Budstock. And you do not mess with Bud!

In ancient days Bud used to be a fierce and terrible boss, prone to temper tantrums that could shake the very heavens -- until the day he discovered music. Music calms Bud down. As long as Bud is listening to music, everyone in the Collective Cosmos can breathe a little easier.

And where does this music come from? Earth. Earth is the only planet that has it. If you want to listen to music you've got to tune into Earth. As long as the Umpire can keep welcoming his babies, they will make music. As long as Bud hears that music the universe will hum along at the perfect pitch.

OK? Umpire. Babies. Music. Bud. Peace. Perfect.

What could go wrong?"