A Few Theological Notes on Fan-dom

It's not that The Great Plotnik REALLY believes that JJ-aka-PP's comment IN PRINT in the bottom of the 6th Inning last night (see yesterday's Plotnik comments), with her team AHEAD by one run, had ANY effect at all on her team being ushered out of the playoffs. No, no.

And Plotnik's wearing the purple and yellow Laker hat on his head was of NO consequence to the Shmlakers defeating the hated Whineatics of Boston last year, EVEN THOUGH they lost when he wasn't wearing it.

And the fact that the other team NEVER scores when you cross your legs, put both hands on your head and stare at the screen without blinking is NOTHING but coincidence.

No, because that would suggest that The Great Plotnik, grandson of a Russian woman so superstitious that she taught Plottie the trick about spilling the salt and avoiding the evil eye, were not a thoroughly modern and forward-thinking leader of a minor Western congregation.

In truth, TGP is proud to welcome phollowers from all phaiths into his phlock. He understands that there are Plotzatarians among us, as well as Braindeadolics. There are a few Reformed Knockahomas, for certain several Latter Day Mariners and perhaps even the occasional New York Met-hodist.

But dear Brethren. Under the umbrella of Plotnikkie theology there are no puddles. We are all brothers and sisters and cousins and, like, other family groups, here. So if any one in this cyber-tabernacle should feel that any Phooladelphia Phooly fans out there can take a hike, The Great Plotnik adds "may it be a nice hike."

(And also, may your greasy-ass cheesesteak never enter my digestive system.) But that's in parentheses so he didn't actually say it.