Happy Birthday and Gus Grunk Speaks

The other night Plotnik was watching Grow Up Before You Throw Up, otherwise known as Check Please Bay Area, on PBS. The hostess seems like a nice person who tries her level best to find guests who will not stab each other with a fork, while describing their favorite restaurants, which the other guests invariably hate. Each guest also has to defend his or her own choice, which they tend to do with barely disguised venom.

There is almost always one Asian woman with gaudy jewelry, one gay guy with an earring and one I.T. man or woman from the peninsula who regards Saint Plotniko with suspicion. Occasionally there is a guest who has actually been out to dinner once or twice in his life in someplace other than Chili's. All are on their best behavior, but you can read the balloon over the hostess's head: "Where's the !!*&@^ wine!?"

So Plottie was astonished the other night to see all three guests enthuse over Zazie in Cole Valley. It was Mush's birthday lunch time so off we went. Everybody was correct. It's a cross between a French bistro and a great cafe. They're open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and there's always a line, but it moves fast.

Mush had the croque madame.



Silent Bill had the burger interred under bacon.



Plotnik's alter ego, Gus Grunk, would love to go on that show and recommend a really, really awful restaurant, like "Ed's Liver Pudding Shack" or "Meatloaf R Us." Then, he would rip the insides out of the other guests' choices. You might ask why The Great Plotnik would harbor such aggression, but it's not him. It's Gus Grunk.

Last night Mush brought her own birthday cake, to celebrate her own upcoming birthday and also Plottie's, Will's, Domin-Nik's and Mr. Chatoyant's recent ones. J-Whack lit the candles with a blowtorch. All the readings were great, but maybe the best part of the create-and-tell was a photo Domin-Nik had taken which looks like Boticelli about to jump out of a clam shell and land on a leaf in Bernal Heights. It is quite extraordinary. If she ever posts it, Plot will show it to you all.