Heaven

The Great Plotnik's religion is confusing to non Plotnikies. Most of us believe in something, more or less, in a sort of vaguely spiritual kind of way, you know, not too much, you know, but we certainly don't go overboard about, you know, or anything.

Reformed Plotnikies believe when you die you automatically get into Heaven. Conservative Plotnikies believe you get to Heaven, but first you have to fill out a long and complicated form. Orthodox Plotnikies believe you have to fill out the form, then tear it up and spend all day arguing about it.

But all Plotnikies believe that Heaven is overflowing with really, really great food. That's why we spend so much time down here talking about food, preparing food, eating food and planning the next meal while we're still eating this one. We're practicing.