I Write the Songs That Make The Whole World Barf

The Annual Christmas What the F___ Do I Care Blues hit Plotnik yesterday. He has felt emotionally grunged out ever since the weekend, and for maybe 24 hours has been grumping around picking fights with people who aren't there, complaining about nothing and prognosticating a terrible end for any possible beginning. Plotnik gets that way this time of year.

This morning he was sitting at his computer, grousing about something, when he remembered he had to be at Noe Valley Sal's in half an hour to write the annual Christmas Song spoof that he and Sal have been doing for at least fifteen years,

He didn't want to do it because he felt too depressed about just about everything. But he did get on up there, and by the time Sal and Plottie were through with the first two verses he was feeling like his old self again. Truly, there is nothing like making fun of someone in a song to pull you out of your Christmas doldrums.

It's the tune to "Do You Hear What I Hear?" Here's the first verse:

"Said the Tea Party on election day
Do you see what I see? (Do you see what I see?)
We kicked ass on election day
Do you see what I see? (Do you see what I see?)
A child is born, somewhere in Africa
He's a Muslim and hates you and me
He's a Muslim and hates you and me..."

It gets much worse. In Verse 2 it's Sarah Palin, in Verse 3 it's Nancy Pelosi, and in Verse 4 Obama decides to move to Mexico where there are no problems.

It's all too real. Plotnik is getting depressed again now.